Its Life, man

Hi people , Assalammualaikum.

The weather change, and so do people . Even the direction of the wind often changes.

So, why do we expect people to be the same. But its depend on ourselves to change in what way.

To be BETTER or even WORST .

Nowadays people living their life in such a weird way. Those people are reluctant to show their changes in a good way. I mean, they want to be better doesn't matter in religion aspect or whatever, but they are shy and do not know how to tell the world or to stand tall in their new identity. But different to those who have changed from better to good and even worst. They with pride and feeling so proud to tell people that they are not the old them, They have change just like their previous life is not as good as now . If you know what i mean you'll have that cynical, knowing smile on your face right now.  Yes, life is suck right? But you are the one who decides how your life would be. Allah has created the most beautiful place for you to live and have you ever being grateful all your life ?

Wake up, people. 

Try not to distance yourself too much from Allah, your creator and in the end to whom will you return?

Answer in your heart, friends. You know the answer. 

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Footnote:- I have this one friend who have this strong magical chemistry connections because sometime her entries are what i am thinking and have the difficulties to express it but she can do it well mann . Kipidup sis. Hahaha

New Life

Hi uolss . Everyone is busy with their new life . So do I .

So, how's everyone ?

I just finished my orientation gaiss which we called MPPB . 

Orientasi lebih kurang jk ngan masa form 1 dolok masa gk zaman Nazri Jebat 

Maybe pack sikit la almaklum dah besar kan . Hahaha

But , I have to admit that suddenly , I miss school , i miss sains miri , i miss the teachers , i miss the environment , and most of it i miss my fellow RESPLENDENT , also the most important is my dearest FAMILY . To make it short , i miss everyone .

Its been a long day without all of you guys .

Hey , i Miss u guys .

Sometimes , aku kedirik x cayak yg aku dah sambung belajar .

Truth to be told , masa orientasi i dont know why , my mind kept saying i was in a camp .

Sebab , mmg rasa kedak dlm kem kepimpinan jk . Trust me .

Lamak juak la aku ambik masa utk tukar mindset yg aku dh masuk new phase of life .

Part paling susah iz nak cari kawan masa fes fes masuk . I think its normal right , yalah bila aku x tauk sapa gk org senegeri and bila aku tauk ada sorang jk yg dikenal , ya pun lelaki .
But , yes kita dh besar , org cakap matured enough so pandai pandailah cari kawan kan .

Ada masa aku pun rasa down juak sampe kekadang aku tepike kenak aku pilih tk , kenak aku masuk sitok . Rasa menyesal kdg kdg muncul sampe aku rasa fed up dan jatuh tersungkur .
Tapi , logik la sikit kan sikkan aku nak mengalah , belum start kelas gk pun . Just to let you know , aku ada jumpa sigek lagu barbie tok tek nya nang kena la ngan hidup aku kinek tk and nya membangkitkan semangat hidup aku . Hahahah hebat sik ?
Yalah tiap kali aku rasa down , aku akan bukak lagu ya dan menghayati . Cewahh hahaha.
Bah esok iz my first class .
Assalammualaikum .

Fate ?

Confused .

Basically yes there are offers from private universities which i will and strictly reject without a second thought .

Well enough to give you a hint tho .

Saying goodbye to unimas wasnt that easy .

Now , im counting days to go to ipik .

Part of me wanted to proceed to unimas but the other part of me said its okay to go to ipik . Maybe my first ambition is to be a teacher . Well its fun you know , you got many presents during teachers day . But it was back then when you were 8 years old . All you know was to have fun . 

No i cant regret this decision either . Everytime i got hint , it always pointed to teacher if you know what i mean .

In the end , parents know the best dont they ?

Maybe i was destined to be a teacher maybe  ? In sha Allah . And doctor or engineer are just not meant for me ?

Just like , you cant have what you want right ? 

Sometimes , things just not meant for us .

Like, for example if fairy or fairy godmather did exist they just not meant for you or me either . Why ? Because it was for Cinderella . If the fairy is for you , there's no way cinderella could go to the ball , left her shoe  , and in the end live happily ever after with the prince just like the story told us . She might now still live in the house and treat as a servant by her stepmother and stepsisters if the fairy was meant for you .

See ? Didnt it say enough that some things just not meant for us .

That's why im trying to be positive .

But , sometimes i just cant . It become worst when i heard other people can choose on their own and do what they want . 

No , no one forced me like if i dont do this , dont call me blablabla , if i refused , i cant blablabla . 

Its not im trying to rebel here . But pardon me if you are reading this as i was rebelling . So if you have the same problem as mine or you cant even detect my problem here , never mind . But if you do , just be positive , change the way you think and live your life as wonderful as you wanted it to be . 

Sesat

Masa aku umur 9 tahun , aku pernah mengalami insinden sesat .

Sesat ok sesat .

Masat tu cuti sekolah and perkara biasa cuti sekolah is sedara mara semua bekumpul di kampung .

Satu hari , kami , pegi kebun buah nenek   yg kami panggil paya .

Fyi , tmpat tu bersambung terus ke hutan yg di belakang belakang . Hahaha

Okay lepas dari melawat pokok pokok yg berbuah kami pun berjalan balik ke rumah nenek .

Tgh halfway nak smpai dah nampak pun kelibat rumah suddenly aku teringat chewing gum aku yg tertinggal atas meja ? pondok ? yg pasti aku gelar sebagai teratak .

Demi chewing gum aku , aku sanggup berpatah balik seorang diri masuk ke dlm paya . By that time aku capai chewing gum aku dan tgk sekeliling , aku  bingung dan aku LUPA jln balik . Maklumlah lagi 9 tahun lagi behingus pun .

Aku rasa nak menjerit then aku ingat hutan . Nanti lain pulak yg menjawab . Nauzubillahimin zalik .

So aku teruskan bejalan mencari jalan pulang . Jalan punya jalan aku tau makin x familiar tmpat tu kat aku . Wonderful thing is aku x nangis pun . Tabahnya aku yg dulu . Hahahaha

Then , makin lama aku bejalan aku nmpak ada cahaya samar samar di hujung dan aku tau ada harapan utk keluar . Aku terus bejalan ke arah cahaya dan aku berjaya keluar . Gila kau tak takut sorang sorang di hutan . Aku rasa nak melompat mcm monyet tapi bila aku sedar aku bukan di kwsn rumah nenek tapi alhamdulillah masih berpijak di tanah kampung yg sama . Nasib aku ingat jalan kat kampung ni . Aku rasa seperti keluar dari kegelapan . Hahaha

Aku pun bejalan lagi mencari rumah nenek aku yg kira kira 500 m dari tmpat aku keluar tadi .

Aku pun tiba di pintu dgn muka yg baru keluar hutan . You know how . Rupanya agak lama juga aku struggle mencari jalan pulang sampaikan ada squad yg mencari aku kot kot aku terjatuh dlm parit besar yg dalam itu . Hahahaha

Sebab abg aku pernah terjatuh dan hmpir lemas tapi berjaya diselamatkan . And what if aku jatuh ? dahlah kecik tak pandai berenang seorang diri lagitu . 9 tahun gituu . 

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Kadang kita perlu bekorban utk mendapat apa yg kita mau seperti aku berkorban utk ambil balik chewing aku .

Pembaca sila jgn contohi contoh buruk aku . Hahahaha

Kita juga x harus berputus asa sbb what if aku hilang harapan masa tu , what do you expect ? aku duduk menunggu org mencari aku . Oh no itu ibarat menunggu dijemput binatang bisa ular ka biawak ka harimau kah . Harimau ? Hahahaha .

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P/s : Aku mmg seorang and yes  this is true story  .

Throwback

Aku dolok diam di asrama . And nya nang seronok . Serius.

Aku x ingat taun bila , tapi aku rasa kisah tk taun lepas , 2014 .

Satu petang yg tenang , ada pertandingan netball antara rumah . 

Sebagai student yg bait and x telibat main aku pun tolong ckgu handle game ya . Hahahaha

Aku lah yg perati jaring and aku lah yg catat markah setiap kumpulan .
So , aku ada peranan yg amat penting ye di situ .

Aku bukan nak buka buku lama
Tapi , aku teringat dan aku rasa perlu jelaskan sesuatu .
Dipendekkan cerita ,
Memandangkan masa dah senior , so keputusan x berapa nak sulit gilak  
Then , ptg ya dah keluar result x rasmi

Mulalah , tedengar sia sitok .
Fyi , benda ya x nyaman mun nya hinggap di telinga , lagi lagi mun nya menyucuk hati
Sakit tauk x , sedih laluuu.
Aku tauk aku x penah ikut game , pertandingan netball apa lagik bemain netball . Mmg x pernah .
Tapi , masa ya sigek jk aku tauk , cara pemarkahan netball .
Tapi aku malas nak argue , x thn lamak pun kecaman org ya .

Tapi , aku ada sorang kwn tk
Nya bagus kit dari org lain even nya salah sorang team A .
Nya agak aku masa prep mlm and bincang bagus bagus.
Nya tnyak aku kenak , mun gia nyaman kit rasa hati nk explain .
Nya tnyak aku knk aku tulis markah sidak 0 sdgkan sidak bnyak skor .
Aku pun explain camtok camtok but i bet nya x brapa nak phm .
So , aku end kan sesi mlm ya dgn ayat
" xpalah , klk aku cek balit rah bilit warden "
Ohh tapi truth to be told , aku x pegi cek balit pun , sori gaiss .

And dah kenak aku nak bulak markah ktkorg ?
Sdgkan ktkorg match ngan rumah lain , sdgkan aku di pihak yg lain
Sigek gk , aku x makan rasuah .

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Mmg masa ya group A tk tek bnyak skor masa lagik match ngam team B .
Mungkin ktkorg x sedar , team B pun bnyak skor
Aku x salahkan tkrang sbb aku tauk tkrang lelah bemain bah .
And maybe masa tkrang nangga aku tulis 0 ya kebetulan masa aku nulis markah aher .
Fyi , beza jaring team A ngan B tk tek 1 jaringan jk .
So , nya penentu antara 3 - 0 .
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Cara markah aher tek camtok ,
Menang - 3
Seri - 1
Kalah - 0
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Contoh tek , team A gol 12 kakya team B gol 13 .
Last markah nya is ,
Team B - 3
Team A - 0

Aku bukan sengaja , xda niat aku nak saja saja engkah 0
Last but not least , if luka lamak ktkorg tebukak balit sbb aku bukak buku lamak tk , aku mintak maaf .
Tapi sekadar nak mengclearkan semua krisis dolok
Takut kita kelak sama sama tegantung di akhirat klk sbb hal yg x settle .
Maybe ada org pike dah knk nya tok post sitok , bacol na . F2f lah .
Bukan aku bacol , bukan aku takut , aku just x tauk nak pdh ngan sapa
Sbb nak khabar angin buruk buruk ya pun dgr dari org , x pasti kesahihannya sbb xda pun org f2f pdh ngan aku , aku tk x adil , nya x puas hati kah melainkan sorang tk tek mbak aku bincang  .
Tapi baguslah tkrang x serang aku direct sbb seriously aku x mampu hadapi .
Dgr dari mulut org pun rasa tetusuk apalagi mun direct  .


Bah , kosong kosong .

Tipikal vs mentaliti

Penah x makan skittle ? Ada yg masam ada yg manis . Am i right ? 

Sama juak dgn ubat . Ada manis and yg pahit itu pasti .
X jauh beza bah dgn kehidupan nok kita lalui hari hari .

Manusia tk pun lain lain . Bak kata peribahasa rambut sama itam hati lain lain .
Susah nak describe .
Sitok aku ada pelbagai scene nak dikongsi .

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Instagram
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Scene 1 :
A; kck li ktk
B; lawa , nak kenal bleh ?
C; followback pls?

Aku ; sikkah ktkorg rasa insekiyo mun strangers madah gia ? Lainlah mun nya nang kwn ktkorg .

Scene 2 :
A : uish, lawa ah kau
B : talk to the mirror la syg .

Okayy ya benda common aku jumpa lam ig kinek tk  . And awak , mun nya nang nak klaka ngan cermin xdanya bukak ig then muji awak bah . Tang terus jk nya klaka ngan cermin ya .

Scene 3 :
A: cantik gila kauu
B : eh , kau lagi cantik
A : aku serius ni kau mmg cantik

Hah , kalau jenis yg ni uolls lawan lah sapa lagi cantik . Sampai pecah screen fon nak menaip siapa kck gk  . Pasya boh lupak post sapa mng mun boleh post gamba screen fon mun nya retak . Ok aku begurau .

Scene 4 :
A: cantik lah kau ,B
B : alhamdulillah , terima kasih A

Habis cerita

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Twitter
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Mun sorang mula tweet style annoying , x puas hati ala ala sindir mula lah si A ,B ,C sampei Z terasa . Mula dari org ya tweet random boleh jadi perang dunia ke-3 . Padahal org ya x beniat nak nganok or sindir si A , si B atau si Z .
Mula lah balas tweet nganok tok , nganok ya . Sikkah susah .
Tapi ada seten org tk nya reply , yalah nak pastikan samada nya kah subjek lam tweet ya . Gia bagus gk . Tapi mun bena lah nya subjek utama pande pandelah tkrang jwb .

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Real life
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Scene 1 :
Masa aku ikut bomba peringkat negeri taun lepas , on the way ke bau , kuch kmkorg ada singgah bintulu beli kepshii . Masa ya kmkorg jalankaki pegi kfc and kebetulan masa ya outfit adalah all black   . Yalah baju fire brigade , sluar slack itam and tudung itam . Tgh bejalan di kaki lima which aku antara yg di blakang , aku tedengar sorang laki yg agik lepak tepi jln ya madah .
" rombongan agama sesat weh "
Aku pun pegi dakwah sidak alang alang di pdh sesat nak ?
Okayy x . Ya metafora jak . Aku terus jalan dgn serius dan ketawa semahunya . Hahahahahaha . Maybe that's what people said judging without knowing .

Mun nangga org hidup senang , happy go lucky mesti dipadah eh nya tok bahagia jk nyaman jk idup nya tk  . Tapi apa ktkorg x tauk is kehidupan nya yg lain . Gine nya struggle nak idup , or kisah idup nya nk sedih yg org lain x penah tauk or x ambik tauk . Who knows ?

Org kinek nang taksub ngan teknologi , smartphone , whatsapp segala benda ya .
Seten org padah eh lamak x jumpa kakya mbak lepak . Lepak lepak end up nya klaka sorang . Nk lain busy nangga henpon . Pa makna ? Kadang tedah nangga org knk skl sbb org lain sebok nangga ws dirikpun .

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Ada seten org nya becelaru . Mungkin bnyk gilak dlm fikiran nya smpai becelaru . Same goes to me . AKu pun ada kecelaruan identiti juak . Bukan maksud aku, aku tk keliru samada aku perempuan or laki . Aku perempuan ok . Maksud aku , masa tulis entri blog au bingung nak guna bahasa apa . Nak cakap bm or klaka srwk . Kadang pelik juak nak pakei wether duak ya .

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Sekadar mengurangkan fikiran dlm kepala  .
If it fits your shoes , im sorry .
Seriously .
But , if this really hits you , what if you try others shoes , and looks from different points of view .
Thanks . With love , Me .

First sight

Did you ever experienced love at first sight ?  Do these fairy tale love do exist ?

What ? Do you expect me to describe love or tell you love story ?

Hahaha its a very lovely NO .

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Did you know hate at first sight do exist ? . Yes , it does .

I have this very bad habit which i love to judge people at first sight . People say dont judge a book by its cover . But i cant help . It comes so natural and fast .

Sometimes , i hate people just by the way the way they act , the way they dress , the way they talk , and everything my eyes tell me to hate . 

But , dont worry i wont confront you and say oh i hate you . No i wont . And i wont let you know that i ever hate you . Because i hate you for no reason . I didnt mean it . You may not know im exist and i may not know your name . It just random . But i dont hate people all my life . Its just the minute i look at you and not suit my eyes . 

Or maybe i shouldnt call it as 'hate' but that kind of 'dislike' feeling .

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If you want to label me as your hater do so . Because haters gonna hate thats what people say . Im not gonna hate someone forever . 

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P/s; i need help . How can people be so husnuzon ? Maybe i shouldnt look too long at someone .